Details in the Fabric - Jason Mraz featuring James Morrison

Calm down

Deep breaths

And get yourself dressed instead

Of running around

And pulling all your threads and

Breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it

But, if it's a broken arm then brace it

If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold your own

Know your name

And go your own way

Hold your own

Know your own name

And go your own way

And everything will be fine

Everything will be fine

mmmhmm

Hang on

Help is on the way

Stay strong

I'm doing everything

Hold your own

Know your name

And go your own way

Hold your own

Know your name

And go your own way

And everything, everything will be fine

Everything

Are the details in the fabric

Are the things that make you panic

Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow

Hell, no reason, go on and scream

If you're shocked it's just the fault

Of faulty manufacturing.

Yeah everything will be fine

Everything in no time at all

Everything

Hold your own

And know your name

And go your own way

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)

Are the things that make you panic

Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)

Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way)

Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?

Are the things that make you blow(Hold your own, know your name)

Hell no reason go on and scream

If you’re shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)

Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine

Everything in no time at all

Hearts will hold

The Unbeefening

Monday, May 26, 2008
10:46 am

Yesterday, like every Sunday, I was down at the market again. I had first stopped at the hardware store to get light bulbs and then at the 'toubab'(white-person) boutique to get some canned mushrooms, coconut milk, biscuits, yogurt and apples. I hadn't planned on buying much. Just some fruits and then my last stop would be at the butcher's to buy half a kilo of beef to make some beef stroganoff I'd been planning for quite a while.

When I got there though, my gag reflex kicked in and I couldn't go through with it. It wasn't because of the flies that were all over the cow's bloody carcass (I knew I'd be cooking it so I didn't mind that), it was the butchered remains of the cow's head right on the counter where I could make out it's glassy eyes and little teeth quite clearly. Now I've eaten and loved a lot of things that would probably make others gag just as easily. Like 'chicharon' (pork skin) or 'lechon' (roasted pork) which also usually includes the head and even 'isaw'(intestines) and 'dinuguan'(from 'dugo' which means blood). But somehow I think this puts me off cooking meat (I'll still eat it though) for a while.

I wish I were vegetarian right now. I really do.

Unfortunately, my not eating meat doesn't mean I'm eating healthier. I'm eating a lot of junkfood which tastes so good because it's bad for you. I try to have my own 'balanced diet' though. I tried balancing half a can of Pringles with some yogurt or fruit or some greasy but yummy and crispy fries with a whole carrot.

The balancing act is tough but it makes me less guilty about not eating healthy. It makes me think about some of my friends who don't eat fish or vegetables at all. I don't think they'd last very long.

This Morning

Saturday May 24, 2008
11:30am

Seven random things...

1. My skin is peeling off my thumb, index finger and forefinger of my left hand. I don't know why. I think it's because I bought some electric tape to fix my broken broom handle but once I took out the tape's plastic wrapper, it was all sticky and gooey from the glue that had melted. I didn't want to waste the 200CFA I'd spent on it so I still proceeded to tape my broom handle. But now I'm left with a crooked and sticky broom handle and peeling fingers. Now it stings badly whenever I try to chop lots and lots of garlic

2. I spilled some of the shrimp paste I'd brought with me. It got all over my hands and wallet. My hand still smell of shrimp paste even though I've washed them twice and I'm hoping my wallet eventually loses its smell. It's not a very pleasing aroma but I can't help but dream of mouth-watering green mangoes only slightly ripe, to go with the shrimp paste.

3. A little boy was playing outside the door to my hut this morning. I was lying with my back flat on the floor reading and I heard someone at the door so I got up and opened it thinking it was one of the nuns or someone coming to clean the hut but all I saw was the back of this little boy clutching what looked like a Fisher-Price toy, running away. I don't really know why.

4. I ran into my ex-sort-of-stalker again today. That's because he teaches in the school right next to where I live. I was totally freaked out the first time we met but now, since I had some help figuring out a way to solve the problem in a way that was culturally acceptable, I'm no longer scared and we say Hi to each other every now and then.

5. I've learned a good way to avoid getting offered rides (cars, trucks, bicycles, motorcycles) is to just walk on the side of the road that goes against the flow of traffic.

6. I wonder how safe it is to go out at night with my camera and tripod for some night shots. I'd really like to try it some time. I'll ask around if this is a completely bad idea or if I can convince someone to come with me.

7. Last night as I was walking home from work, I saw a woman balancing what looked like a pretty heavy bunch of firewood on her head. This probably won't be surprising to others but I was pretty amazed. I think what the women here are able to accomplish are downright incredible. But society is still pretty sexist and it's just taken for granted that women do most, if not all, of the work. I would've wanted to take a photo but unfortunately didn't have my camera with me.

A Thing of Beauty

A thing of beauty is a joy for ever:

Its loveliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep
Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.
Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing
A flowery band to bind us to the earth,
Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth
Of noble natures, of the gloomy days,
Of all the unhealthy and o'er-darken'd ways
Made for our searching: yes, in spite of all,
Some shape of beauty moves away the pall
From our dark spirits...

-- John Keats

PRESENTING

Nikon Zoom Normal-Telephoto 55-200mm f/4-5.6G ED AF-S VR DX Zoom-Nikkor Autofocus Lens (Vibration Reduction) for Digital Camera

for US$230

SIGH....

So many wants, so far away!

Image taken from http://www.bhphotovideo.com/

La Liste #1 (Kolda)

Books I've read while here and my enjoyment rating:

The Name of the Rose - Umberto Eco (B+)

The Life of Pi - Yann Martel (A)
Bodily Harm - Margaret Atwood (B+)
Peony in Love - Lisa See (A)
Eat, Love, Pray: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia - Elizabeth Gilbert (A+)
Brunelleschi's Dome: How a Renaissance Genius Reinvented Architecture - Ross King (A)
Man and Boy - Tony Parsons (B)

Recipes tried here and my enjoyment rating:

Crepe (C)
Ginataang sitaw at kalabasa (B+)
Bistek (A)
Yema/Pastillas (A+)
Pansit bihon (B+)
Tuna and spanish sardines pasta (A+)
Tuna and spanish sardines stir fry (A-)
Leche flan (A-)
Creamy pesto pasta (A)
Coconut-Avocado icecream (A+)
Fish Sinigang (A)
Mushroom Curry (B)
Mango Salad (A)
French fries (A)

Favorite Music while here:

Colbie Caillat - Coco (A+)
Jason Mraz - We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things (A+)
Various Artists - Grey's Anatomy Episode Songs Season 3 (A)

TO BE CONTINUED...

Pansit at Tagumpay

Monday May 12, 2008
11:00 am

Hindi ako mahilig maghanda. Palagi akong naprapraning tuwing ako'y may bisita ngunit naisipan kong mag-imbita ng aking mga kaibigan dito para sa aking kaarawan noong nakaraang araw at para narin makita nila ang aking tirahan at matikman nila ang lutong pinoy.

Balak kong gumawa ng pansit bihon. Alas-kwatro ang oras na tinakda ko para sa pagdating ng aking mga bisita. Nagsimba ako nung umaga at namalengke para sa aking ihahanda.

Pagdating ng alas-tres, luto na ang pansit ngunit palpak ito para sa akin dahil nasobrahan ata ang pagluto o pagbabad sa bihon! Nagkadikit-dikit tuloy at wala na kong magagawa para ayusin pa sya. Ayan, napraning na naman ako. Nakakainis! Bakit nga ba kasi ako nag-imbita!

Buti nalang, naisipan ko kaagad gumawa ng isa pang putahe. Agad-agad kong iniluto yung ibinaon kong Century Tuna at yung Century Bangus na 'spanish-style' at pagkatapos nagluto naman ako ng spaghetti.

Pagdating ng unang bisita (mga alas-kwatro imedya), luto na ang pagkain, nakapaglinis pa ako at nakapag palit ng damit.

Nagustuhan naman ng aking mga bisita (siyam ang nakapunta) ang parehong putahe kaya syempre natuwa naman ako. Hay salamat. Di naman ako masyadong bilib sa aking sarili, siguro medyo napagaan lang ang loob ko. Sa susunod susubukan ko nang iwasto ang pagluto ng pansit.

Nagustuhan naman nila. Nakakatawa ako tuwing may bisita. Siguro kung nandito yung mga kaibigan kong Pilipino o kaya ang aking pamilya, tiyak na aasarin nila ako dahil sobrang bibbo ko o 'excited'! Masaya naman...kaya sana maulit.

Ndorna: Departure

After the meeting, it's time to board the minibus and go back to Mampatim. Everyone is tired, including this guy right here. But in any case, the visit was a success!

Ndorna: It's a kid's world

Here's another pretty face with a pretty dress:

I find the kids here really cute and photogenic. They love having their picture taken too so I don't usually have problems getting them to give me a smile!
You're not allowed to tell someone their kids are cute, though (because it might turn them ugly). I resist the urge to do so every time. Superstitions are everywhere!

Tea

Copied the following off someone else's blog (http://007inafrica.blogspot.com/2005/02/tea-making-101.html)

to go with the picture I took:

Attaya is the way tea is served in Senegal. It’s typically served in three rounds: each being of a different flavors and strength. The art of making this tea is quite elaborate and requires an old fashioned stove with coal in the bottom and tiny vodka-shot like glasses.

How to make it (not that I'll be doing this any time soon but just to give you an idea):

Round one: Strong and bitter tea 1. Fill your little tea kettle with 2/3 of the content of a chinese tea bag. 2. Add a little bit of sugar. 3. Heat on stove until boiling. 4. Pour in small glass cups. Pour the liquid back and forth until a thick foam settles on the surface of the glass. 5. Drink the bitter, bitter mixture without making a sour kissy face.

Round two: Sweeter with mint 1. Leaving the previous contents inside, add a little bit more tea from the bag. 2. Add sugar and mint. 3. Heat on stove until boiling. 4. Pour in small glass cups. Pour the liquid back and forth until a thick foam settles on the surface of the glass. 5. Enjoy and hope that you don't develop a caffeine addiction.

Round Three: Sweetest and Mintiest 1. Leaving the previous contents inside, finish the tea bag. 2. Add generous amounts of sugar and mint. 3. Heat on stove until boiling. 4. Pour in small glass cups. Pour the liquid back and forth until a thick foam settles on the surface of the glass. 5. Relax as this last tea will go down pretty well, but will undoubtedly cause deep cavities and prevent you from sleeping for two days.

Ndorna: La Maman

She wanted me to take her picture but won't smile for it. She did smile when she saw her photo though!

Ndorna: La fille en rose

Ndorna: Guy Smiley Brothers

I love getting smiles on my camera! At first I thought they were the same guy (I'm very bad with faces and names). But now on a second look, they must be brothers. Cute ones too. Their little friend though was a little camera shy but I stole a shot of him in another photo.

Ndorna: Waiting

Ndorna: Cheeky

I took a lot of pictures of this little girl. I don't know her name but I happened to be sitting next to her. She was pretty fidgety and a little noisy too while the meeting was going on. I love her expression (the little twinkle in her eyes) as she enjoys her blue lollipop.

Here's another photo of the lost boys:

Ndorna: Juice

Senegalese make a juice out of the fruit from the baobab tree called 'bouye'. They pack them in clear plastic bags and sell them around. It's even better when frozen. This little kid is enjoying his 'bouye' as his buddy looks on. Baobab fruit is called 'pain de singe' or monkey's bread. It's chalky and a little sour but you get used to the taste.

Ndorna: Watching the grown-ups

Kids are always curious to get into what the grown-ups are up to.

According to one of the field agents, in his village, children have started to copy the grown-ups, starting their own microfinance groups, saving and lending out bottlecaps as currency to one another!

Photos by Maimona Balde

I finally decided on a Senegalese name for me with the help of a friend and the guard at our office. Welcome, Maimona Balde who was born yesterday and turns 26 today! Here's a self-portrait:

To celebrate, I'm updating my blog and uploading tons of photos taken two days ago.
Here are some of my photos on the field at Ndorna (Kolda, Senegal). I'm so happy there are a lot that of shots that I like. The people here are beautiful and fortunately for me, they enjoy having their pictures taken and seeing the result afterwards! It's striking how despite me being different and not knowing the language (Pulaar), my camera does the talking and I think we are somehow able to communicate.

This was during the Study Exchange visit with villagers from Mampatim visiting Ndorna.

I hope you enjoy them.

I'm having a hard time organizing the photos and I realized it might be easier if I posted just one photo per blog entry... hoping it works!

My first post in Senegal (aka Kamusta?)

My first 'post' in Senegal came at a time when I felt really low and sorry for myself. I just felt really bad and since I couldn't access my usual blogs, I resorted to emailing my close friends and family about my rants. I'm really thankful to everyone who replied. You know who you are and I love you guys! Anyway, I'm past that stage now. But I'm putting my first 'post' up in here so that I can laugh about it afterwards and just to really get the ball rolling.

I've also actually run into a bunch of blogs from volunteers here in Senegal and I've had a lot of fun reading them. I actually feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself a while back because I really have it way better than some of the other foreigners here in terms of basic comforts. But then again there are also others who are on the opposite end who are really living a life of 'luxe' but this isn't about them, it's about me.

My first 'post' is in Tagalog, not because it's easier for me to express myself in Tagalog (it's actually much harder) but because I just miss speaking the language. I just find myself longing for those gluttal sounds and sentences that end with 'na', 'lang', 'naman', etc. If there are grammar or typos though, please do correct me.

Anyway, here's my very first and very long post.

SUBJECT: Kamusta?
Sent: Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:20:09

Kamusta na kayong lahat? Sana naman kayong lahat ay nasa mabuting kalagayan. Nais ko lang sana kayong kamustahin upang magkaroon ng ideya sa inyong kalagayan at kung anu-ano ang mga bagong balita. Heto, tila ko nang namimiss ang pagtatagalog kung kaya’t pilit kong kumpletuhin ang aking sulat (o sanaysay) sa inyo sa ating mahal na wika.

OK naman ako dito. Malungkot minsan lalo na tuwing wala akong makausap sa Inggles at mas lalo na sa Tagalog at walang kasama sa pagtsitsismisan na tilang nagbibigay sa akin ng kaligayan kaya ko naisipan kayong sulatan (at aaminin ko na ako’y nagpapapansin).

Matagal ko nang gusto kayong sulatan at medyo nagsisisi nga ako ngayon na ngayon ko lang nagawa ito. Iniisip ko kasi mag-iipon muna ako ng kwento at saka ko ilalagay sa blog ko o saka ko na ipapadala sa inyo. Ngunit magdadalawang buwan na ako sa bansang ito at aaminin ko na marami na rin akong nakakahiyang pangyayari na dinanas (at alam kong di ito nakakagulat).

Sa mga nakakausap ko paminsan-minsan sa YM habang ako ay nasa opisina, maraming salamat! Talagang nakakapagaan ng loob tuwing kayo’y aking nasasalubong sa YM at natutuwa ako na kahit ako’y nasa malayong lugar, patuloy tayo’ng nagpapansinan at nakakapagkwentuhan.

Dito paunti-unti kong natututunan ang pakikisama sa iba’t ibang kultura at dito rin masasabi ko na paunti-unti ako rin ay nagsisikap pagbutihan ang mga pagkukulang ko sa aking sarili. Halimbawa ako’y natututo nang mamalengke, magluto at maglinis. Mag-iisang buwan na ako sa Kolda (mainit, madalas mawalan ng kuryente, at medyo malayo sa sibilisasyon) at dito ako namulat sa napakaraming bagay na dati’y di ko masyadong pinahahalagaan.

Halimbawa, walang supermarket dito. Lahat ng kailangan ko kailangan kong hanapin sa palengke at madalas kung hindi man sobrang mahal, di pa ito mahahanap dito sa Kolda. Ilang oras ako napaikot sa palengke naghahanap ng sponge na panghugas sa aking mga pinggan at ng catsup na wala din dito. Mga bagay na akala ko madaling hanapin sa isang lungsod.

Kahapon din, laking gulat ko (at sa totoo lang ito rin ang nagtulak sa akin na pagtiyagaan at paghusayin ang aking pagluluto) habang ako’y kumakain sa isang restawran katabi ng aking opisina. Pag pasok ko sa restawran, nakaupo ang isang ali sa isang tabi at katabi nya sa sahig mayroon syang isang malaking palanggana ng ulam at kanin na kanyang inahahain para sa mga kliyente (isa lang ang putahe sa araw na iyon). Napansin ko, habang ako’y kumakain na pagkatapos kumain at mag-abot ng bayad ang mga tao, isa-isa niyang kinukuha ang kanilang mga platong pinagkainan at nilalagay sa sahig tabi niya. Pa-simple ko siyang pinapanood upang tingnan kung ano ang susunod niyang gagawin. Di lamang dahil wala akong magawang iba (nakabukas ang telebisyon ngunit di ko naman maintindihan ang palabas dahil ito’y nasa wikang pambansa nila) pero dahil din may suspetsa na ako kung ano ang kaniyang gagawing katakot-takot.

Isa-isa niyang tinabi ang mga natirang karne at gulay mula sa mga platong pinagkainan ng mga nakaalis na kliyente. Kahit alam ko na kung ano ang susunod, nagulat parin ako at nandiri nang binalik niya ang mga tirang karne at gulay na ito sa kanyang palanggana upang ihain sa mga susunod na kliyente. Sayang nga naman kung itatapon niya ang mga ito. Maraming beses na din ako nakihati ng pagkain sa mga taong kilala ko dahil ganun sila kumain dito. Isang plato lang para sa lahat. Pero mga kakilala ko ito. Iba yata pag dun sa mga hindi ko kakilala. Paano na kung nasubo na at nailuwa ang mga binabalik ng aleng ito sa kaniyang palanggana? At ang kanyang mga kamay na pinanghawak niya sa mga baryang ibinayad sa kaniya at pinanghakot sa mga uuliting karne at gulay, di man lang niya hinugasan ni binanlawan o pinunasan. Di naman ako masyadong maarte sa tingin ko pero hindi ko ata matitiis bumalik at kumain doon. Magsisipag na akong pagbutihan ang sarili kong luto o dun sa luto ng mga kakilala ko o kumain sa mga mas mamahalin ngunit mas malinis na lugar. Kahit masarap ang kaniyang inihain, hindi ko ata kaya.

Pero matutuwa kayo maayos ang aking kuwarto at medyo masarap naman ang mga nasubukan kong lutuin sa aking munting bahay-kubo at sa aking maliit na lutuan.

Ayun lang. Di ako nagkukuwento para maawa kayo sa akin o para magreklamo o para mandiri kayo at itigil niyo naang mga balak bisitahin ang lugar na ito o ang mga lugar na tulad nito (kung meron man). Nais ko lamang talaga ipahayag ang aking kuwento sa wikang Tagalog upang ito’y di ko makalimutan at para din hindi niyo ako makalimutan. Nagpapansin lang ba.

At nais ko rin magpasalamat sa inyong lahat, aking mga kaibigan at pamilya. Nakikita ko ng mas malinaw ang aking mga pagkukulang. Alam kong nakakasawa at nakakapagod ako minsan bilang kaibigan o kapamilya. Minsan sa sobra kong kulit o sa sobrang tigas ng aking ulo o sa aking pagiging manhid manggigil nalang kayo sa inis. Nakakapagod din kapag paulit-ulit na napapagsabihan. Pero alam niyo, mahal ko kayo talaga kahit di ko masyado naipapakita at liligaya talaga ako sa susunod na magkita tayo muli. Kahit hindi ko kayo madalas makita o makausap, sana hindi niyo ito makalimutan. Masyado nang matagal ang nakalipas na panahon na nakalimutan ko kayong pasalamatan ng husto. At sana rin sa paglipas pa ng panahon matuto akong maging mas mabuting kaibigan, kapatid o anak para sa inyo. Nais ko lang sabihin ito na walang drama o bago huli na, para wala lang. Walang rason na konkreto. Dahil lang ito ang nararamdaman ko na nais kong ibahagi. Napakalaki ng utang na loob ko sa inyo.

Dito nagtatapos ang aking sanaysay. Sana di kayo masyadong nainis o nahabaan (pero mahaba nga talaga siya). Pasensya na. At kung kayo din ay may mga kuwento o balita, alam niyo na ngayon na labis kong ikatutuwang makausap at makapiling kayo muli.

Maraming salamat sa pagbabasa o pagpansin sa aking sulat!

Where I'm living

I live in a cute little hut beneath a mango tree in Kolda, Senegal. By day, the place is run by nuns who receive women with sick and malnourished children and try to get their kids to eat well again.

My hut has two twin beds, each equipped with a pillow, sheets and a mosquito net. I have electricity and running water. My floor is tiled. I have an fan, a desk, two chairs, a wardrobe, a bedside table, a lamp, curtains, a teaspoon, a saucer, a mug, a glass, a water heater, a bathroom with a toilet and a shower, and that's plenty! The high ceiling of my thatch roof keeps the place relatively cool.

After a month of eating everyday at African restaurants I finally decided to get my own gas stove, pots, pans and kitchen accessories and start cooking for myself. It hasn't been easy at all but at least, thank God, I haven't set my hut on fire or anything. Food or finding or making what I eat is probably one of my biggest challenges and I have never before appreciated fastfoods or microwaveable meals or my mom's or our helper's cooking as much as I do now.

Mornings on a school day, I wake up to the sound of chattering children waiting for their classes to start at the school just next door. Evenings, I get to enjoy the sounds of birds and lizards and the occassional thump of a mango dropping onto the thatch roof of my hut. On nights when I have no electricity, it's pitch black so I use my flashlight to guide me and I open my windows to let a little breeze in. Each time the wind blows, I feel a little bit more alert, mistaking it for the fan (and hence electricity) turning back on again.

I work for an American NGO doing microfinance. My office has air conditioning and internet. It's really not bad at all. It gets hot and it gets tough when electricity gets cut off sporadically but Kolda, and Senegal in general, still has that charm or allure. I know not many Filipinos get to experience the things I encounter here so it's something I'm grateful for and something I'd like to share.

Maybe you'll get a better idea of the country, the work, the life here, or how I am (I sometimes like to talk about myself). In doing this, I think I'd also like to share a little bit about the Philippines and Filipinos (pinoys and pinays) in general and what it's like being Filipino and being far away from home in a place that couldn't be more different!

Pinay in Senegal

Welcome to my spot

I've been inspired by a Filipina blogger in Cambodia and an American blogger in Senegal to put up a new blog. I have quite a number of sites now but I've been really frustrated by how long it takes to upload and download anything in them. What I need is one that will make it easiest for me to update so here I am.

My Story:
I'm a Pinay (Filipina) who was born in Manila, Philippines. When I was around eight years old, my family moved to Zambia where we lived for five years then moved back to the Philippines. After college and about five years of doing outsourced work in Manila, I decided to take a different path and fly to New York for my Master's in International Political Economy and Development in the Bronx. After completing my course work and comprehensive exams, I was offered an internship position to do development work in microfinance in Senegal for six months.

Alors, me voilà!

This is where I'll be posting my stories while I'm here and as a disclaimer, I'll be writing in Tagalog (Filipino) as well as English from time to time depending on my mood. I'll try to avoid writing in Tag-lish (although that would be more natural for me) to keep a level of formality and so as not to annoy anybody and so that my Tagalog and my English too might improve. I might write in French too just to practice once in a while and that may unintentionally confuse people. That just gives you an idea of how scrambled my head is!